The author does not understand the agony of their children and it affects their future.
On Oct 29, 2016 4:54 AM, "Murli dhar Gupta mdguptabpl@gmail.com [worldmalayaliclub]" <worldmalayaliclub@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
Every Indian Parent Needs To UnderstandAbout Divorces Is This'It is sacred', they say. And to end a marriage would be the biggest blasphemy. Because how dare you? How dare you question the sanctity of a bond as 'pure' as marriage, no matter how much it suffocates you? 'Fix it', they say. 'Or just live with it'. Silently. Without letting the world know. Shhh. 'Log kya kahenge'. Live with your partner even though you cannot stand their presence. Live with them knowing they couldn't care less about yours. Live with them knowing they'd rather be with another person. Live with them knowing they're probably already with another person. Live with them knowing you'd be so much happier without them. Live knowing you're dying every day. Because 'only death can do you apart.'Yeah, we know you had your share of marital problems too. And you're still married but let's face it, staying in a marriage all your life says nothing about the success of your relationship. If a marriage is failing, holding on to it just for the sake of it won't help. The truth of the failed marriage would still remain.Look around. There are so many couples who are unhappy and still together because they've been told so. Sure, it took a lot of effort, but to succumb to a failed marriage is not something to be proud of. You had your own reasons to stay, your kids might have their own to leave. You should be glad this generation is courageous enough to walk out when things don't work. We'd rather be divorced than live with people we cannot even see eye to eye. What's wrong with that? It's better to step out of a failed marriage than to let it turn you bitter every day, for the rest of your life.Compatibility is not a first world term. It's real and it goes way beyond common interests in movies and the choice of popcorn. And sometimes, it does take years to realize it. Violence, infidelity and financial troubles aren't the only 'red flags' in a marriage. There's so much more that can go wrong with two people. No, it doesn't always mean they're bad people. Two people can be the nicest human beings with perfect families but still not right for each other. There are reasons you may never be able to see, reasons that shall never make sense to you. But they exist, and they are way more real than your idea of a successful marriage. We really hope you could just wrap your head around that!Of course, you know your kids like nobody does. Of course, you have things to say. Of course, your wisdom is valued. Advice them but also trust them with their choices. Understand that the decision shall be theirs and that may not be in accordance with yours. They may not have 'seen life as much as you' but they're adults too, you know. They deserve credibility for knowing what they're doing. They're aware, they're responsible. They know the consequences and probably are ready to face them. They've thought things through, a lot more than you ever can. It's their life and there's nobody who'd be more concerned about it than them, you know. Every time you tell us them you're getting sleepless nights over our divorce, don't forget life is much worse for them.It takes a lot of courage to take that big a step and there's nothing worse than having nobody around who understands. Don't make them more miserable by your judgments. They have society for that already. Stand by their side, even if you don't agree. You don't have to agree. It's their life, not yours. If you're concerned, be there for them in their moments of breakdown when they need home the most.Let's face it. A divorce is not the end of life. The society may make you feel like it is, but that's society. It shames. That's all it does. You're always either too poor or too rich or too fat or too promiscuous or too 'modern' or too old-fashioned. There's life beyond a failed relationship. Don't worry; your child will be okay, much better than they are right now, in that failed marriage. Anyone who judges isn't worth being around. So, for a while, forget about everything else and be with your child, for the sake of their happiness.
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Posted by: potharaju rajabhushanarao <rajabhushanarao@gmail.com>
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