Smita Pani: [World Malayali Club] The Love Habit

Sunday, 31 July 2016

[World Malayali Club] The Love Habit

The Love Habit

We need routinized habits in the mind to live. You cannot continuously analyze everything before acting. You live on the basis of habits. Every habit has a solidified decision behind it. All habits ultimately are habits of the mind. The habits are actually standing orders from the mind to the cells to act in a particular manner. There is fear habit, there is the courage habit, there is the hate habit, there is the analysis habit, there is the procrastination habit, there is the non-acceptance habit, there is the acceptance habit, there is the trust habit, there is the distrust habit...the number is infinite.

Today, science is based on the habit of mathematical reduction. It is based on the habit of converting self into a machine. I shall come to this aspect of science in another essay. In this essay, I shall deal with the health and happiness giving habit—the habit of love. Love is the ultimate hormonal automatic system of communication within a person, that all corresponding emotions that help the love also are automatically generated as the sympathetic or enabling hormones that it becomes the very time of life. The hormone or instruction from the mind to the cell is via the blood stream. So thoughts change into hormones in the blood.

In the case of love, the mind develops the habit of seeing only the good things in the object of love. It also develops the habit of unseeing the bad in the object of love. This integrated habit of seeing only the good and unseeing the bad, develops into a single hormonal system within the person. It becomes part of the blood. Unfortunately today, in a lab you cannot trace the emotions in the blood, despite the progress in the hormonal profile reading. However, if you deliberately practise the habit of seeing only the good and ignoring the bad you get hooked by love, because your hormonal system is routinized. You have to select the object of love and then practise seeing only the good things in that object of love. But be very careful in your selection, because you may become an Eva Brawn, the unfortunate woman, who was hooked in love for Hitler, the ultimate fiend. The best method of starting the habit of love is to select babies, children and any animal or bird, or even a tree or any feature of geography for your object of love. One unfortunate side effect of total love is the habit of fierce hate towards those that may cause harm to the object of love. Also when you find that the characteristics on the basis of which you built the love are not there, you undergo a terrible hormonal storm, and the mind just cannot know what instructions to give to the cells.

Every mother suffers from these hormonal upheavels.From the formation of the Zygote in her, all the love generating hormones get triggered centered on the growing baby within her, and that love habit within her sub-conscious, embeds itself in her hypothalamus, that she can never come out of the love bond. When the baby becomes an adult, she slowly confronts the different person the baby has transformed into. The transformation may be to her liking or not liking. Most painful, the adult leaves her to live his/her own life. To the transformed baby into an adult, her love may become an impediment. To a mother her habit of love for her grown up son or daughter often becomes an ailment. I do not have any solution to this predicament of every mother.There are many mothers who become bitter.