[amdavadis4ever] STAY SILENT NO MORE

 

STAY SILENT NO MORE       Sexual harassment, no matter how small the incident, can leave indelible scars. Here are some tips for fending away unwanted attention Sexual harassment. A montage of unwelcome touch es, gestures and glances comes to mind. It is also a sadly necessary perquisite of being a woman in some societies, such as ours. We have all dealt with that co-passenger on the train, wwho just stands a bit too close for comfort. Or that male colleague whose hands linger a bit longer than necessary as you shake hands with him. In a recent incident, that was reported, a man on a moving motorcycle flashed his penis and started masturbating. His audi ence: two women in a rick shaw. The women with their quick-thinking and tech sass took an incriminating photo of the miscreant and tweeted it to Mumbai Police. The man, a resident of Bandra, was arrested and booked under the Section 354 of the IPC. As disgusting as the story is, it is an eye-opening on how women can take charge of uncomfortable situations. Here are some tips on how to deal with unwanted sickos:   PUBLIC SPACES Public spaces provide the perfect playground for lewd minds. So much so, that stepping out in public -be it taking the train or mere ly buying vegetable at the bazaar -is often a political act for women in this country. Crowded plac es give the perpetra tors a sense of anonymity which makes them shockingly brazen.Ever felt violated (and helpless) by that sleazy nudge on your breast whilst taking public transport? Conversely, do abandoned, lonely streets give you the creeps. Here are things that you need to keep in mind when the outdoors get too close for comfort: 1. Confront the discomfort Respond immediately. The moment you turn back and confront the person, the culprit is thrown off track. A comment like, `Hey, back off!' will send out the message that you will not take this lying down. Also, the moment you choose to confront and draw attention to the perpetrator in a crowded public place, the others in the area will also turn to look at him; after all, the public spectacle is a national pastime. There is strength in numbers. 2. Ask for help If you are not comfortable with drawing attention to yourself or find yourself in an eerily empty street, please look out for local police officers or other law enforcement personnel in the vicinity. If there is no other option, feel free to ask other women for help.Our railway stations are a great example of gender solidarity. You'll be pleasantly surprised with how helpful a city Mumbai is. 3. Equip thyself Keep a shrill whistle or a pepper spray handy. Learning a few selfdefence moves will also come in handy. But a word of caution here: this ought to be a last-ditch resort.And as cheesy and `70s as it sounds, there is nothing wrong with enrolling into those karate classes. AT THE WORKPLACE This is tricky territory. Workplace harassment can either be physical or verbal. After all, who hasn't heard of stories of senior management promising rewards in exchange for sexual favours? While the Chitrangadha Singh­Arjun Rampalstarrer Inkaar tried to give sexual harassment a glossy outlook, it's a far cry from reality. Given the highly competitive world that we inhabit, workplace sexual harassment is a bitter pill to swallow, as often we don't know whom to trust or not. 1. Engage with the person directly At the very first incident, please speak to the person directly.Explain to him that you do not appreciate such gestures. Also this will help clear the air -as he might have misread something in your behaviour. Most times, such conversations help and the miscreant gets the message. 2. Please have everything on record If such behaviour persists, then please start to document and record it. Save any emails, messages, what have you. However, keep in mind that in these days of social network lynching, you really ought to be sure that a line has been crossed. Someone's career is at stake here. Do assess if what happened is sexual har assment or liberated banter. 3. Report it NOW If nothing else has worked, then please report it to the concerned HR department or your supervi sor. The longer you wait, the worse it will be. Remember the case of Ellen Pao vs Kleiner Perkins Caufield Byers. It was widely said that she lost the case because she endured the harassment for a long while before reporting it. So DON'T wait. Check your compa ny's policy on sexual harassment. Act on it. 4. Lawful rescue You might be in for a rude shock when you realise that your company has no intention of taking your grievance forward. In which case, hire a lawyer, file a lawsuit. There is nothing to be ashamed in taking your experience to the public. Or the newspapers, for that matter. Feel free to call that tabloid near you. IN THE VIRTUAL WORLD The internet, though a very liberating medium, is a declared safe haven for online sexual pervs and trollers. But what is equally handy -if that's a phrase -about the internet is its ability to record everything. Every tacky Gtalk message, every sick screenshot emailed to you is a record of your perceived violation. Stash them in your "Lawsuit" folder. 1. Befriend a nerd Rope in the help of a tech wiz. She will help you trace the IP address and other technical details that can help to discover the identity of that unknown perpetrator. They can help you document the harassment, which will come in handy later. Remember that Mumbai Police's cyber crime unit is a vigilant resource. Contact them, file an FIR. 2. Don't rise to the bait Please don't give in to the temptation and respond to the slimy texts or objectionable emails, since these can be doctored by the miscreant to make a case for his defence. Conversely, this might make the other party more aggressive and militant. 3. Public shaming The writing could well be on the wall. Use your Facebook post or your WhatsApp group to publicise your indignation. It is after all somebody else who needs to feel embarrassed and not you.A note of caution here again: in a nation increasingly prone to lynching folks online (and offline, sadly) do have enough ammunition before you press the "Post" button.

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Posted by: Bhupendra Jesrani <jesranibd@yahoo.co.in>

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